You can choose not to see it if you want, but it’s happening. The tinfoil ball conspiracy is real and the Main Branch Librarians will not stop until we are all Dewey Decimalled into SEVERAL ALPHABETICAL HUMO-UNGULATE HYBRID DNA-SHOPPING SLAVE TOOL PUPPET SHEEP!
FACT: On Tuesday, March 3, 2015 I discovered a small ball of tinfoil in the gutter out front of my home NEARLY IDENTICAL to the crumpled-up hot dog wrapping I had discarded just two days prior. It could not have been the same ball, however, as I had placed the wrapper in the trash and the garbage men had collected the bag JUST THAT MORNING in a TIMELY FASHION.
FACT: On the evening of Saturday, May 16, 2015 after I had just finished a DELICOUS sandwich at Raul’s on Highland Road even though the service lady did not place my straw in my drink for me as I had SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED, I observed a tinfoil ball in the hand of a young Filipino man walking towards the door. His watch was black as I knew it would be, so I immediately informed him that I was ON to his FUCKING PLOY and attempted to stop and question him, but he began to run as A COWARD WOULD away from me, taking the tinfoil ball with him in an obvious attempt to prevent me from gathering more evidence. The UNGULATE SYMPATHISER POLICE PUPPET FRAUD HACK DETECTIVES were of ABSOLUTELY NO HELP and threatened my VERY LIFE with DANGEROUS SHARP PLASTIC WATER PISTOL TOY KILLER GUN HANDS and would not stop SHOUTING AT ME to VACATE the PREMISES until I vacated the premises of MY WILL AND NOT THEIRS ONLY MINE.
FACT: On the morning of Wednesday, June 10, 2015 upon awakening once again in the dumpster behind Subway which, despite the SANDWICH MERCHANT SLINGER FRUAD DOUBLE CHEESE MANAGER’S MANIACAL RAVINGS to the contrary is owned by the CITY and therefore the PEOPLE WHO ARE FREE AND not yet ALPHABETICAL OR UNGULATE and not his CAPITALIST PIG CORPORATE MASTERS, I found, to absolutely no surprise, a ball of tin foil resting neatly upon my NAKED CHEST. It is to be noted that I sleep on my STOMACH and yet the ball was pressing FIRMLY against my MILKY SKIN FREE OF ALL UNGULATE FUR against the very THEORY OF GRAVITY which has yet to be PROVEN IN A COURT OF LAW.
There is no disputation of my CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER FACT RULING that can be made in any LIBRARY OF UNGULATE OR MAN that can disprove. You will not believe but you must.