“Yes, I’m calling to inquire about this warning on the back of your commercial router,” says the totally not-hot sounding woman on the phone.
You’re really striking out at the call center today.
“Yeah?” you respond, not following the service manual. Manuals are for jokers.
“Um…yeah,” the old bag drones on, “it says here don’t put it close to power lines or I could die.”
“Sounds like a real no-brainer you got there, bitch.”
“Excuse me?” she practically screams.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” you say in a quick ass-covering maneuver, “did you not tell me that your name was Mitch?”
“Um…no,” she says, and you can practically hear her fury transform into bewilderment in the pause. “No, it’s Esther.”
“My mistake, Esther,” you chuckle, “must be a bad connection!”
“Okay, so, how close can I get to the power lines before I die?”
“We haven’t found any volunteers for human testing yet, Helen, would you like to volunteer?”