Get a flu shot while you shop. the sign affixed to the sandwich board gently instructs. The man upon whose shoulders the sandwich board rests stares forward vacantly, smiling daftly at no one in particular.
As you step onto the sensor pad, triggering the automatic doors, you hear him speak almost inaudibly.
“Entering the pharmacy constitutes implied legal consent for any and all flu shots,” he whispers harshly.
“Huh?” you exclaim, turning rapidly on your heels.
The man maintains his vacuous expression and pays your confusion no mind, seeming to act as if he had said nothing at all.
You shake off the strangeness of the sandwich board whisperer and got about your business in the pharmacy store. Deodorant, toilet paper, six pack of Abita, jumbo jar of Vaseline, you remind yourself, a simple list for a simple night at home.
You are weighing the difference in price and quality between the jar of Vaseline and the generic petroleum jelly when you hear a tapping behind you, then a rapid shuffling.
You whirl to see the sand which board man running at you with a hypodermic needle raised over his head.
“This is completely in accordance with HIPPA! Your insurance will be billed at little or no cost to you!” he screams as he plunges the needle into your right arm.
“What the hell man?” you cry.
“Whiiille yooooouuu shoooop,” he says stupidly while waving his hands in front of him as if a wizard readying a spell. He disappears around the corner of the aisle, presumable running back to the front of the store.
You get the flu that season anyway.