39 - Berles

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I swear to god if this human boils my dog food one more fucking time I'm going to bite his pinky finger off the next time he pets me.

This homo (sapiens, you guys, jeez, I'm a dog not a bigot) has been putting my kibble in bubbling hot water for three weeks and I'm doggone tired of it.

I'm not sure if y'all have ever eaten soggy corn bites, but imagine your Pops, which I'm told you humans "gotta have", were reduced by heat, in milk. Then imagine they never tasted good in the first place. Then eat them by sticking your face into the bowl. Welcome to my world. The world of a dog fed nasty mush every day.

Please don't cook my ready-to-eat food anymore, Mr. Hobo. I don't want to hate you, but I will decimate your fingers.