This is where you live now, The Orlando Magic.
Don’t you dare start whining about this, The Orlando Tragic, you brought this on yourselves. Thirty three wins in seventy-eight games? Were you even trying? Obviously not.
So, in response to your abysmal failure of a…well…I suppose you could call it a “season,” I’ve had this custom cup printed up and I’m going to stuff every last god damn one of you down in there, and you’re going stay in this daiquiri cup. Don’t you even think about coming out until you remember how to make it into the goddamn playoffs.